Any movie where the last line of diolague is "F--- you, you gutless turd" is sure to be an instant flop.
Primal, an Auzzie horror film about a group of friends who venture into the outback in search of prehistoric cave paintings only to become terrorized by a mysterious bacterium, turning it's victims into animalistic, blood thirsty beasts, is a terribly pointless film.
Most of the movie consists of a crazed woman, after having went swimming in a bacteria infested pond, running around bellowing a scream generated from terrible sound effects and acting like a psycho-monkey. All of the youngsters die because of stupidity, except for one girl who runs into a cave which is alive....somehow? Once inside the cave, the girl gets wrapped up by octopod-like tentacles that come out of the walls of the cave. She is then dry humped by a big gooey blob, until she grabs a machette and slices it up. She then runs out of the cave and yells the aforementioned phrase at the top of her lungs.
If this turn of events makes any sense to anyone, I would love to hear the rationale.
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